Monster
by dilila23
Summary: "It was horrible to see ,Arthur, nothing I said seemed to get through and he just kept repeating the same thing over and over and over again." Gwen was sobbing at this point and Arthur had quickly wrapped her in a comforting hug."What was he saying, Guinevere?"The next word came out as nothing more then a whisper but it was enough to send Arthur running for the east tower."Monster"
1. Chapter 1

"Please try talking to him Arthur, I don't know what to do!" It was about mid afternoon when Guinevere burst into Arthur's chambers in tears. She was so distraught that Arthur was only just getting her to calm down enough to understand what she was saying.

"Guinevere, i don't understand, what are you talking about?" Guinevere started to talk again slightly calmer now but still crying which worried Arthur,

"It's Merlin, I knew you had given him the day off with everything that had happened with his mother, so i thought that i would take him on a pique-nique to get his mind off of things but when I couldn't find him straight away i just knew something wasn't right." Yes, Arthur had given Merlin the day off. There had been report coming in about attacks on outlying villages and Arthur had been doing everything he could to keep the villages safe but he had been unable to stop the massacre that had taken place in Ealdor. The village had suffered many loses, including that of Merlin's mother, Hunith. Arthur knew the pain of losing a parent only too well so he told Merlin that he could have the next few days off (he wouldn't be pushing Merlin to start working again until he was ready but he figured that Merlin will probably come back to work even if he told him not to).

"What do you mean?"Arthur asked in a worried voice.

"I couldn't find Merlin anywhere so i asked around and someone eventually said that they saw him heading towards the east tower," Arthur started to internally panic, the east tower wasn't very high but it was still high enough for Arthur's imagination to start painting a terrifying image in him head. As scared as Arthur was to to know he the answer, he just had to ask,

"Was he...was he going to...did he...?" Before Arthur was able to force the question out of himself Guinevere quickly interrupted him,

"No, no.. no of course not.. oh my gosh that sounded really bad didn't it? I shouldn't have said it like that, anyone would have jumped to that conclusion. No, of course not, he wasn't going to.." _Jump. _It was left unsaid but the relief Arthur felt was tangible in the air. Now that Arthur's worst fears had been crushed it just left him with a whole new set of question.

"Why was he in the east tower?" Gwen took a deep breath to help gather her thoughts before she started talking again. " I don't know and that's why you need to talk to him straight away, i know he considers you his best friend and don't even try to tell me that you don't feel the same way." It was true and although he had never told anyone, he knew that everyone else knew it too. Guinevere interrupted his thoughts when she continued talking, she had started to cry again.

"It was horrible to see, Arthur, nothing I said seemed to get through and he just kept repeating the same thing over and over and over again." Gwen was sobbing at this point and Arthur had quickly wrapped her in a comforting hug.

"What was he saying, Guinevere?" The next word came out as nothing more then a whisper but it was enough to send Arthur running for the east tower.

_"Monster"_

* * *

This is my attempt at a story with more then one chapter. I'm only planning this to be a two shot but you never know (this was only originally going to be a one shot so yeah). I've never done this (as you can see if you check out my profile) so please be nice but i also want honesty. if you can't do both then pick honest. Please review and tell me what i did bad and what i did good and any ideas for the rest of the story, i have a basic idea but it could go two ways so any ideas might help me decide which patch to take. Thanks so much for reading my story, i hope you have a great day!


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur was surprised when he finally reached the tower. On his journey there, his mind had thought up many different terrible situations involving lots of blood. But when he reached the tower there was nothing of the sort. No blood, no broken bones, no terrifying images. Just Merlin curled up into himself leaning against the wall. Arthur called his Merlin's name a few times but there was no response from him.

Arthur slowly approached him and sat down beside him against the wall. Merlin had still made no indication that he had noticed Arthur's presence so he gently placed his hand on Merlin's shoulder. Merlin jumped at this but didn't make any move to look at Arthur.

By now Arthur had noticed the constant mantra that Merlin was almost desperately repeating

_"monster, monster, monster, monster"_

Over and over again, just as Guinevere had described.

"Merlin, talk to me, please"

Arthur didn't really know what he was doing, he had never been good with these kinds of things, but it did seem to affect Merlin this time. Merlin stopped his mantra and turned his head slightly towards Arthur. Arthur was glad to see that he had gotten though to Merlin but now he had absolutely no idea what to say. The two sat there in silence for a few minutes until Merlin broke it with a whispered question.

"Do you think I'm a monster, Arthur?"

To say Arthur was shocked would be an understatement, how could kind, caring Merlin think he's a monster? It just didn't make sense, Merlin thinks hunting is cruel for goodness sake.

"Why would you think that Merlin? Did someone-"

"No" Merlin interrupted.

Arthur waited a few moments so Merlin could continue but he remained silent.

"Why would you think that you're a..."

The thought was so ridiculous that he couldn't even make himself say it. Merlin suddenly whipped his head up to rest against the wall. A dull thud could be heard from where he had hit his head against the wall. Arthur wanted to check it in case he had cut his head on the rough stone but Merlin started to speak again.

"Why wouldn't I? Everyone around me dies!" Merlin had raised his voice for a quiet whisper to almost shouting, "Their lives are perfectly fine and then they meet be and BOOM!" he practically screamed just to quiet down again, "They're dead."

Arthur was just confused at this point, who had died? The only people he could thin, of that had been close to Merlin were Lancelot and his friend Will, but those had been ages ago and it's not like either of them could be considered Merlin's fault. Not in the slightest.

"I- I don't- I don't understand"

"Of course you don't" Merlin's voice had become cruel and almost accusing and if Arthur had been forced to admit it, he'd have to say that it scared him. Merlin continued

"The first time I killed I was only five years old. I was too young to understand what I was doing. All I knew was that Old Man Simmons was screaming at me and I was terrified."


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys here's another chapter finally, sorry for being such a slow writer, I honestly forget at times hat I've been writing a story. My thanks to The Patchwork Rabbit for their recent review, reminding me about this. Also a heads up, I've given permission for Patchwork Rabbit to take my story idea and make their own story with it. I'm still planning on continuing this but I'm very excited to see what Patchy makes of it. (plus they will probably be a bit quicker with the updates). I'll post the link for their story once they get it posted so you guys can read it too. Now thank you for being patient and on to the next chapter.

_Memory_

_ Merlin, age 5, is running through the village playing a game of knights and monsters with his friend Will. Last time Merlin was the knight so this time he is the monster. It wasn't long though until old man Simmons came around and started telling the two boys off for the ruckus they were making and they had to move their game to the nearby forest. _

_ The boys had been playing for a little while when all of the sudden old man Simmons appeared again screaming like a banshee on the hunt. Apparently Merlin and Will had been running across a small bit of land that the old man had claimed for himself and had planted strawberry plants there. There was no fruit currently so it just looked like any other bit of ground to the boys, it was a mistake any 5 year old could have made. Old man Simmons wasn't going to forgive them though, he had never liked Merlin and tried to find every opportunity to scare him off. _

_"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU ON MY PROPERTY? LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, YOU'VE DESTROYED MY STRAWBERRY PLANTS, YOU MISERABLE WELP! HOW COULD YOU?!" _

_ Old man Simmons continued to scream at the boys and Merlin started to get truly scared. Simmons had never been this mad at them before, he looked as if he planned to kill them for this. Without even realizing it, Merlin's magic started to react to his fear and the trees all around them started to swing violently, Simmons was too busy yelling to notice. All of the sudden there was a huge crack and one of the oldest trees began to fall, at first it looked like it wasn't going to hit anyone but it caught on a branch and turned, landed right on top of old man Simmons house. He started to yell again but not at Merlin this time._

_"SUSAN! MARY! MARY! NOOOOO!"_

_ Old man Simmons started running toward the wreckage that was his house, crazily digging through everything. Old man Simmons was able to do this easily because he wasn't really an old man, he was just an adult, but to a 5 year old that seems pretty old. Old man Simmons was a young man with a wife and a new baby. A wife and baby who were still too weak after the birth to leave the house._

_End memory_

"I don't think Will ever understood what I had really done, the village kids hadn't known about the baby yet, I only knew because mother had been the midwife."

Arthur was silent. To say he was shocked would be an understatement. One thought was the loudest of them all though.

Merlin has magic.

Arthur didn't know what to think but he didn't have much time to before Merlin started talking again.

"And that was only the _first_ time I killed. I've killed so many people, Arthur. I'm a monster. I'm a monster, I'm a monster, a monster, monster, _monster, monster_."

okay that's it for now, I'll try to be quicker with the next update but I might forget so keep reviewing.


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